Heard at the 60th annual Primetime Emmy Awards:
"We are like on Sarah Palin's bridge to nowhere, that's where we are right now. The government can't even bail us out of this. We have nothing."
• Emmy co-host Howie Mandel, who noted he and his co-hosts didn't have a prepared opening monologue
"What if I just kept talking for 12 minutes? What would happen? Oh wait, that was the opener."
• Jeremy Piven, razzing the reality-show hosts who opened the show after his acceptance-speech joke got few laughs.
"Being here tonight is a big thrill for me because as a kid I use to run home from school and get all dressed up and play 60th anniversary Emmy Awards."
• Steve Martin said before introducing comedian Tommy Smothers, who received an honorary Emmy.
"It's hard for me to stay silent, when I keep hearing that peace is only attainable through war. And there is nothing more scary than watching ignorance in action."
• Tommy Smothers as he accepted his honorary Emmy.
• Ed McMahon as Josh Groban sang a tribute to TV's top shows over the past 40 years.
"I really look forward to the next administration whoever it is. I have nothing to follow that up with. I'm just saying I really look forward to the next administration whoever it is."
• Jon Stewart, who won for best variety, music or comedy series for "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart."