I Admit I Am A Little Bitter

By: Brian Dorman
By: Brian Dorman

There are days....like today. Days when out of no where my mom kinda pops into my head.....There are days like today....as the years pass they seems to spread farther apart....days when memories from no where rekindle in my mind like a camp fire that still smolders a week after everyone has left the site.

There are days....well, days like today...where I feel like slamming my fist against my desk.......or just break down in tears in the dressing room..........days where I feel so over come with emotion.....with moments, moments where I wish I had a complete family one that meets for holidays and doesn't forget or neglect to call on a birthday.

There are days like today where I wish I could reach out my hand.......to get one more touch......even just finger tip to finger tip.....a hug at this point seems almost too much to ask.

Just one more chance to remind her I love her....or perhaps I am the one who needs reminding......its almost been 10 years....the things I have done in 10 years. And there are days and moments.......like today where I get a bit angry...little bitter I guess when I think would it have been to much to have her there for my graduation, to teach me how to drive, to see me off to prom, to be with me at my college orientation, to see me graduate and maybe just one live broadcast......just one......

There are days like today where I see other people my age out shopping with their moms or sitting out at Starbucks.....wishing that could be me. And am I truly suppose to be comforted with she can see me from above.......watching me report, watching me graduate....call me selfish but that doesn't really feel comforting to me.

I guess the good thing about days like today is the anger passes, the bitterness fades and the tears wipe away.........I'm grateful that days like today come less than they use to and pass faster than they once did before.

So many people reading this will be able to relate to my day and well maybe even you had one yourself.

 

Brian

 

 

 

 

 

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