Grandma, "I Hate Twinkies...."

By: Brian Dorman
By: Brian Dorman


"So your grandpa comes in the living room today barking up a storm. I hate when he starts barking up a storm, oh he was real angry, "Why the hell are these Twinkies in here getting spoiled rotten, no one eats these damn things why do I even buy them" Oh he was letting me have it all right! "Well I don't know Jack, I haven't ate a twinkie since I was a teenager...why did you buy them in the first place, I shot back. I'm not going to let him get the best of me!"

"Haha no of course not," I replied, knowing she had much more to say.

"Well honestly Brian. I hate Twinkies, I haven't had a twinkie in over 60 years, why in the world did he buy em. He doesn't like em, I don't like em, so who is going to eat them and then he wonders why they go bad. Well you know how stupid do you have to be. Next time I will tell him that, I mean really if we don't like them and he continues to buy them then what does he expect will happen to them. You should see it he keeps buying them there are like 12 boxes in there. I didn't even know they could go bad to begin with, didn't I read once they could last a lifetime?"

"Oh I don't know can they?"

"Well I think they can last a long time. But that's besides the point. It doesn't matter if they last two lifetimes if no one is going to eat them. He does this all the time. I send him to the grocery store and even if I have a list...even if there is a coupon with the picture right there on it. Do you think he can get it right? No, he can't! It's just so aggravating."

"I can see...." I try to get in........I failed.

"And it is never going to change. You know at 78 years old he is never going to change. I just don't know what to think anymore. 12 boxes of Twinkies. I mean honestly. So how is your day? she asked, haulting that part of the conversation.

"Oh fine......just fine........thanks for asking." I replied.


Oh brother........the attack of the twinkies........Really? I was going to throw in there how much I like twinkies, but I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. LOL.

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