Do you know the secret?
Do you know the secret?WIBW Blog Listing
Do you know the secret?
Topic Author: Amanda Lanum
Posted: 7:58 AM Jun 17, 2009
Replies Posted: 17 comments
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I attended a wedding over the weekend -- beautiful wedding -- of a couple just younger than me. I love that moment when the bride first comes out and everyone's breathe catches. And I LOVE to watch the look on the groom's face as he sees his bride walk down the aisle. Those are the moments that make you think, "They're so in love. This marriage will last a lifetime."

At the wedding this weekend someone commented they told the groom "You've got a real princess there." And he responded, "I got more than a princess." It would be amazing if couples could wake up with that same feeling everyday of their marriage without worrying about life's little arguments.

After the wedding a friend and I were talking -- both of us not necessarily skeptical of marriage, but wondering what it takes to make a life-long commitment work. We just had a story on the news yesterday of a Wamego couple celebrating their 76th Wedding Anniversary. Amazing!

So I pose this question to you -- whether you are a newly wed, been married a while, a divorcee, or just have an opinion on the matter -- what do you think it takes to make a marriage last a lifetime?

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Posted by: Lee Location: Small town USA
I think Lois has said all that needs to be said. I know that God is really working hard. We have several friends that have been married many years. We have all watched our kids grow and move on. We are all happy and enjoy all that we do. We know what we say can really turn things in the wrong direction fast, so slow down and take 1 day at a time. Talk it out, Life is to short.

Posted by: Jessica Location: Topeka
I have been married a year this month, and there are a couple of things that I have learned, and many more I have yet to learn. Nearly everyone wants to give you advice on what to do and what not to do (especially when you're only 21), but ultimately it comes down to knowing what will make the two of you happy. Just always remember that you are your own people with your own dreams, and that neither is more important than the other. Compromise in making those dreams come true, and realise what is realistic and what is not. Always think before you speak (hard to do sometimes, I know!). Also, never try to control what the other person does; if you don't like them, why did you marry them? It always drives me nuts when other women ask me questions like "why do you let him do that"? I am not his mother for one, and for two I don't want him trying to tell me what I can and can't do, so why would I do that to him? Love, respect, communication, compromise. Those are the most important things.

Posted by: Jaime Location: topeka
I would have to say do everything you can to make your wife happy....if the wife is happy, your life is happy

Posted by: C Location: Topeka
Listen to each other, don't just pretend!!! Take note as to what they are saying, and be kind and patient with each other! Watch what you say and how you say it, because the other commentors are correct when they say you cannot take back what has already come out of your opened mouth! Learn to love the things you don't like about each other, because the bigger picture is what matters in life, not the small stuff. Love each other and God and you will keep it rolling right along!! :)

Posted by: David Location: smalltown ks
I was married for almost 19 years and in all that time I don't remeber my wife ever compomising. After that long I just gave up. To stay together forever it has to be give and take from both sides. No matter what the situation there has to be agreement.

Posted by: Sissy Sue Location: Manhattan
Love your comments

Posted by: Becky This couple had a life long commitment and unfortunately, on Thursday, the wife passed away. On a positive note, they were able to celebrate another year of marriage before she was called home.

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Glad for them they had so many years to enjoy one another.



Posted by: Bj Location: Mayetta,Kansas
Begining each day as a new one. Listen you your spouce when you talk and not just talk at each other. Restpect each other and each others thoughts,wishes,and desires.Pay close and i mean close attention to your love ones heart. Allow one another to follow their heart and thier dreams and help them fulfill them. Never,never sleep with anger in your heart. Be so kind not only with your actions, but with you heart and treat other hearts like you would want yours to be treated.Last but least,i think it was said well in the song, (Live like you were Dying).And all remember, when you love some one, you don't own them. Their not a piece of property, they are a gift from God.

Posted by: dennis Amanda welcome aboard and since you are the newbie OI will ask you my question. My question is: Why does this website allow pop-ups when trying to read articles on this site? A perfrect example was when I just now logged on and clicked on your blog a pop-up for Netflix appeared, very annoying. I shall wait anxiously for an answer, Thank You.

Posted by: G-Ma Location: Meriden
Don't sweat the small stuff, cause life is too short.

Posted by: john Location: topeka
communication and flexibility in all things

Posted by: pat Location: kansa
Well put lois, i need to remember what comes out of the mouth will not go back in...thanks for the reminder!:)

Posted by: Donna Location: Manhattan
I have been married 43 years and one thing I have observed in most couples is one always seem to give in more than the other. Also before you decide to fight decide if the disagreement is worth it. Let the small stuff slide and as perfect and right as you think you are you are probably the only one that feels that way. Remember your vows and all the people you will hurt and disappoint if you divorce.

Posted by: Jim Location: Topeka
All these things are true that have been mention before me. But, you have to have good health. My wife passed just three months ago and if she had lived until May 1, we would been married 44 years. She came down with pancreatic cancer and died only two days after finding what she had. So, I say that the number one thing that you have to have is GOOD HEALTH.

Posted by: Hi Location: everywhere
If the woman can COOK I mean really COOK not no microwave crap. That will help alot.

Posted by: Lois Location: Topeka
I think that the real secret is keeping God in their lives. Never going to bed angry, keeping respect for the other, and last but not least talk over everything and keep it clean--no name calling. Remember, what comes out of the mouth will not go back in....My in-laws had 73 years of marriage and I never saw them upset with one another. They protected the other until Dad died at age 93 and, and his wife 100 a few years later.

Posted by: Jan Location: Manhattan/Quilter
Never go to bed mad at each other, talk it out. Also always remember that your spouse is your very best friend and you can share anything with them.