His story is far from the sounds of the laughter for his bits on "Saturday Night Live" and his impersonations of President Bill Clinton. Florida native and former SNL star Darrell Hammond shares details of his addiction to crack, cutting and alcohol abuse in his new memoir.
"God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F---ed: Tales of Stand-Up, 'Saturday Night Live' and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem" is set to come out November 8th, and is being published by HarperCollins.
"I kept a pint of Remy in my desk at work," Hammond recalled in the book, according to the New York Post. "The drinking calmed my nerves and quieted the disturbing images that sprang into my head ... when drinking didn't work, I cut myself."
Hammond, who was also best known for his "SNL" for his spot-on impersonations of Donald Trump, Al Gore and Sean Connery, reportedly wrote of being taken by cops from NBC to New York Hospital in a straightjacket.
"My wife came but I didn't recognize her," he said.
According to the Post, Hammond wrote in the memoir that he started adding "an obscene amount of cocaine" to his binges in 2002, and that in 2009, during his 14th and final "Saturday Night Live" season, "I had the brilliant idea I should try crack." He also said he spent time in a Harlem crack house, and that he's now drug free.
In a recent interview discussing the book, Hammond said he was abused by his mother as a child.
"When I was a child, I was a victim of systematic and lengthy brutality, I mean, stabbing, beating, being electrocuted, stuff like that," he told CNN.
"It started to manifest itself when I was 19 years old. That was the first time I ever cut myself," he added.
Hammond said in the interview that he's not hiding his past problems anymore.
"I don't feel ashamed of falling down, because I got hit by a Mack truck," he said. "The fact is, I kept trying to get back up, and then I did."